The Hand That Pulls: Trapped in the Divorce Web. 🇬🇧
How a Wife and Mother, with Manipulation and Justice, Ruins the Husband and Destroys the Family.
I Tell You a Story About...
How It Could Have Been
Facts and a Few Sources
Reading Time: approx. 6 minutes
1. I Tell You a Story About...
To you who hold the reins,
who twist words, block paths –
I see you, speaking without blame.
What if peace chose our hearts?
Souls healed, father is father, mother is mother
children spoke freely,
the court parted you fairly,
each walked their path, whole and free.
It’s possible – paths exist,
guiding us, mending what’s broken.
Let’s end the pain,
for you all.
A winter evening in the Swiss Alps. Snow blankets the rooftops, the wind howls around the house, and the fire crackles in the fireplace. We sit close together, wrapped in blankets, tea in hand. I tell you a story – one that feels like a dark nightmare, but it’s real. It happened, it’s happening still, and it could happen to any of us. Listen closely.
Imagine a man. A father, a husband, who built his life with strength and heart. He lived with his family in the mountains, but also in distant lands – places full of life, where sunlight touched hills or cities buzzed. He created a home filled with adventure and warmth, a company that supported not just him, but many others. He loved his children, cared for them, kept a place for them even after the separation, near the peaks where they once laughed. But then came the storm – not from outside, but from within his own life.
His wife, once a partner, became his enemy. With a smile that deceives, she drained him. She demanded – first money, then everything. She twisted words, made him the guilty one, where he was innocent. Gaslighting, they call it – an old game where your truth is bent until you doubt yourself. “You were never enough,” she said, as she hid evidence and lied in court. In earlier years, as they traveled through foreign lands, she had affairs – with a scientist, an entrepreneur, a top athlete. She exploited them, built a network, while he held the family together. He forgave, stayed. Now, nothing remains.
I know stories like this, not just from tales. There was a father, somewhere beyond the Alps, who lost his children because the mother turned them against him. She claimed he never loved them – though he was there for years. The children, now grown, hated him, but couldn’t name a reason. Psychologists later saw it: parental alienation, a poison that blinds children. He fought in court, but she won – her tears outweighed his evidence.
Back to our man. She wanted him empty. Her lawyers, like hunters in ambush, fired relentlessly – lawsuits, accusations, lies. His defenders? Hesitant, weak, unable to stop the assault. He brought facts – that she earned, lied, manipulated. It bounced off, was twisted, ignored. The judge, a man with a dubious reputation, believed her. Her “credibility” triumphed, his voice faded. The children, nearly adults, became her weapons. She incited them – “Your father is abandoning you” – though he kept a home for them, near the mountains of their childhood. They no longer come. He pays for schools in distant lands he never approved, while his life crumbles.
At first, it was about money – thousands monthly, though he could barely breathe. His salary seized, accounts empty, his company – once a star – destroyed. Clients left, jobs vanished, because she wouldn’t stop, and the law protected her. But now, she wants him dead. Not out of rage, but strategy. He could bring evidence, sue her – if he had money. She took that. She fears his breath, so she presses until nothing’s left.
Imagine standing in court, evidence in hand – that she turned the children, hoarded money, broke the family’s well-being. The judge looks away. Her lawyers threaten anyone who helps – friends, relatives, all dragged into the mill of accusations. No one dares support him. Authorities, press – deaf. He screamed until his voice broke, fell until friends found him. A cry for help, no end. But who saves him?
The law, meant to be just, became a trap. Courts, meant to clarify, destroy. Lawyers profit while a life fades. A good judge would listen, protect the children, find balance. Here, lies triumph. And he’s not alone. In the Alps, in quiet valleys, people fight these storms – against partners who erase them, against systems blind to truth. They stay silent, because no one helps. Fear holds everyone back.
What if this happens to you? If the one you loved destroys you – and the law watches? If friends stay quiet, fearing the next blow? This isn’t a Netflix series, though it feels like one. It’s real, now, somewhere among these peaks. And it won’t stop until we look.
2. How It Could Have Been
And yet – how could it have been? Imagine two people, long estranged. Each with their wounds, their lives. Especially the impulsive, the manipulative, trapped in a wounded ego, a narcissism that blinds them. I know this – years under manipulative family hands, a dangerous situation in my close circle, which even police and experts deemed unsolvable. “Let go,” they advised. I didn’t. With reason and courage, I fought, offered the trapped person help to help themselves, while others held a safety net. We mustn’t accept this – not just for ourselves, but for all who suffer. Each victory shows: We can open our eyes, break daily manipulation – in private life, society, politics, everywhere. For our man, a judge could have resolved the marriage long ago, negotiated fair support, given the children freedom to see their father. That’s justice – saving families, not destroying them. I experienced it myself: My husband and I wanted to divorce, agreed, hand in hand. The law forced lawyers on us, who fueled conflict. But our judge? She saw us, banned the lawyers’ interference, and let us part as friends. That’s how it could be.
3. Facts and a Few Sources
This story is true. It’s dragged on for years. The divorce, long requested, remains unprocessed in a Swiss canton. The law isn’t used to peacefully separate a broken marriage for both sides, protect the children’s well-being, or lift the family to a new level. Instead, it benefits profit-hungry lawyers, steals public time, and destroys what children need. But this isn’t unique – not here, not elsewhere.
Parental Alienation (PAS): Known globally as Parental Alienation Syndrome, it describes how one parent turns children against the other. Studies from the USA show: 11-15% of divorce children experience alienation (Harman et al., „Parental Alienation: Overview“, 2022). A new German study (University of Tübingen, „KiMiss-Instrument“, 2024) measures alienation through 55 manipulative behaviors – e.g., contact blockade or defamation. Psychologists warn: Untreated, it leads to anxiety, depression, personality disorders (Kelly & Johnston, „The Alienated Child“, 2001). In Brazil, it’s considered child abuse since 2010 (Lei 12.318/2010), but Germany’s Federal Constitutional Court (17.11.2023, 1 BvR 1076/23) criticized PAS as „discredited“. An international survey (Bernet, „Parental Alienation Survey“, 2025) shows: 70% of experts see it as a real issue, despite debate over its diagnosis.
Gaslighting: Recognized worldwide as psychological violence, often in divorces. A British study found: 1 in 5 victims permanently doubts their perception (Stark, „Coercive Control“, 2023). A new analysis (Journal of Family Violence, 2025) shows: 30% of divorce cases with psychological abuse involve gaslighting – e.g., lies about finances or child welfare. The term originates from the play „Gas Light“ (Patrick Hamilton, 1938), where a husband drives his wife insane by distorting reality – adapted into the film „Gaslight“ (1944, dir. George Cukor), a classic that popularized the concept.
Long Divorces: In Switzerland, contentious cases often last years – a two-year separation period if one partner blocks, plus disputes over children and money (Beobachter, „Scheidung Schweiz“, 2022). UK: 30% of cases exceed two years despite „No-Fault Divorce“ (The Guardian, 2023). USA: Costs rise to $50,000 on average due to delays (ABA, 2022). A Canadian study (Justice Canada, 2025) shows: 40% of delays stem from tactical lawyer maneuvers.
Lawyers and Collusion: Internationally criticized: Lawyers extend divorces for profit. In Canada, costs consumed 80% of one person’s assets in a case (Justice Canada, 2023). Switzerland: The „divorce business“ (NZZ, „Spezialgebiet Streit“, 2024). A new investigation (European Law Review, 2025) shows: In 25% of cases, lawyers on both sides quietly cooperate to maximize fees.
Influenced Judges: The Council of Europe reports: In 40% of cases, „credibility“ outweighs evidence (GREVIO, 2023). Spain: A judge was suspended for unfounded PAS rulings (El PaĂs, 2021). USA: Bias threatens child welfare (NCJFCJ, 2020). A Swiss analysis (University of Zurich, 2025) shows: 35% of judges rule on manipulation without checking evidence.
Divorce Law Worldwide: In Switzerland, alimony is often overstated – 60% of fathers pay beyond their means (Beobachter, 2022). Italy: Shared custody can worsen manipulation (Journal of Family Studies, 2021). Canada: Inconsistent rulings erode trust (Justice Canada, 2023). An international report (UN Women, 2025) finds: 20% of divorces globally involve manipulative legal tactics.
Books:
„Divorce Poison“ (Richard A. Warshak, 2010)
„Coercive Control“ (Evan Stark, 2023)
„The High-Conflict Custody Battle“ (Baker et al., 2014)
„Splitting“ (Bill Eddy, 2021)
Films/Documentaries:
„Gaslight“ (USA, 1944) – The origin of the term, manipulation in marriage.
„Weil du mir gehörst“ (ARD, 2020) – Focus on PAS.
„Erasing Dad“ (Argentina, 2014) – Alienated fathers.
„Divorce Corp“ (USA, 2014) – Critique of the justice system.
Support Groups for Victims:
Switzerland: „Starke Väter“ (starke-vaeter.ch)
Germany: „Väteraufbruch für Kinder“ (vaeteraufbruch.de)
International: „Parental Alienation Support Group“ (PASG, parentalalienation.org)
UK: „Families Need Fathers“ (fnf.org.uk)
I ask the Swiss legal system, I ask you: How can we stop such scenarios that shatter lives and families – here and worldwide? How do we help the many experiencing small-scale wars, where some win and others lose everything? How do we bring this into the public eye so the father can breathe again and the children get the chance to see him – now? He’s not alone; this suffering is global.
Learn more in my blog Manipulation/Scamming: